YOU'RE BETTER THAN YOU THINK!
YOU’RE BETTER THAN YOU THINK!
How many of us have truly healthy self-esteem (not big egos) and appreciate how good we really are?
Not many, most of us underestimate our real potential.
We are better than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less.
-- Anonymous
We are wonderful, capable human beings worthy of love and happiness. We all have a gift to give the world that can't be duplicated. No one else is exactly like us; we are each unique. Hard to believe?
The problem is, we don't believe it. Most of us are used to thinking about all our negative qualities and become expert at putting ourselves down. We have a hard time believing and accepting our own goodness and gifts. Think about how you respond when given a compliment!
When we have a negative attitude, only one person can change it - us. We have the power to choose to change our thinking - if we want to. It takes a courageous person to risk getting positive and hopeful.
I had to reach out and get coaching help to make the changes I needed to make in my life and in my case this meant giving up chemical and behavioural addictions. It was tough, but then life is tough! It has been with it.
Today I can appreciate my goodness and accept love humbly. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Monday, November 8, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
हे अद्दिक्ट! इ'वे हेअर्द आईटी BEFORE
I’ve Heard It (Said It) Before
I was out last week for a meeting not related to my work but for a “community organization”. During the course of the conversation I was asked what I do for a living.
When I told the person, his eyes opened wide, he stated this has happened for a reason, and called another family member in. Funny, they have a family member who has a problem and appears to be in denial about it.
This happens frequently with people I meet; its’ usually never them, but they know someone. Funny, at a point going back in my life I would have said I knew someone who had a problem (my wife would have said the same thing) but I would never have said it was they guy in the mirror. My wife would have pointed me out!
Funny how that works!!
Most addicted people, or people with living issues for that matter, are in denial. While many on the outside may admit they have some issues, most are not being honest. People who care about them want to believe but the funny things, with 10%+ of the population having an addiction (or major living) issue, the truth is the addicted LIE to themselves and to others.
Question is- how do you know when they are lying?
A good friend of mind, Patrick Meninga who writes “Spiritual River” has just done a great article on this. I have posted it in full on my web site, www.hopeserenity.ca. If this article is ringing true with you, I invite you to go over to my site, and read Patrick’s article in full. It certainly hit home with a couple of addicted friends and family in my life!
I was out last week for a meeting not related to my work but for a “community organization”. During the course of the conversation I was asked what I do for a living.
When I told the person, his eyes opened wide, he stated this has happened for a reason, and called another family member in. Funny, they have a family member who has a problem and appears to be in denial about it.
This happens frequently with people I meet; its’ usually never them, but they know someone. Funny, at a point going back in my life I would have said I knew someone who had a problem (my wife would have said the same thing) but I would never have said it was they guy in the mirror. My wife would have pointed me out!
Funny how that works!!
Most addicted people, or people with living issues for that matter, are in denial. While many on the outside may admit they have some issues, most are not being honest. People who care about them want to believe but the funny things, with 10%+ of the population having an addiction (or major living) issue, the truth is the addicted LIE to themselves and to others.
Question is- how do you know when they are lying?
A good friend of mind, Patrick Meninga who writes “Spiritual River” has just done a great article on this. I have posted it in full on my web site, www.hopeserenity.ca. If this article is ringing true with you, I invite you to go over to my site, and read Patrick’s article in full. It certainly hit home with a couple of addicted friends and family in my life!
Monday, January 4, 2010
वांट अ उसेफुल लाइफ?
Want A Useful Life?
Well, here I sit well into a new year. Over this period, I love to take time to reflect back, look at journals that go back many years, and appreciate the journey that has unfolded and what was the underlying motivation to take the journey I continue on.
To the headline question, the answer was a definite yes. I did want a useful life, a life with purpose that was not driven by the material. A life where I felt love for me and could reflect this in service to others, including family and friends.
While addictions had become part of my life, they were not, as I see it, the problem. Living was a problem and my addictions became an escape for me that stymied emotional growth and allowed me to escape how I felt inside. Many turn to other methods of escape that are not commonly seen as addictions, but are escapes from a life the individual feels is not "useful" as they define useful.
In dealing with my issues, and through the various influences that have helped me to recover a life I love today, I became a big fan of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" and the 12 step programme. Whether addicted or not, any human being who searches for a more useful life and wants to better apply good mental hygiene to their lives, can benefit from these tools, and I use the tools in how and what I coach. I openly acknowledge the gift freely given by those early AAs' to all of us. They are a cornerstone of my life today.
The following line from the "Big Book" of AA says it all as far as my own personal journey goes:
I have since been brought into a new way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 42-43
Over the time I have been on this journey, and to gain what I feel is a useful life, I have dramatically altered what my ideals are, and in taking the journey, have emerged with new attitudes towards life. Attitudes that help me to feel like I am living a useful life.
The principles of AA were freely given and have been adopted by 150 or more "fellowships" that are helping people create a useful life. As I listen to leading motivational experts and other "popular" authority figures -including Oprah and her spinoffs- I can close my eyes and hear the words and thoughts contained in the Big Book. The thinking is sound and works when learned and put into practice.
If you want a more useful life in 2010, this may be a start point for you.
Thought to Ponder . . .New ideals and new attitudes bring a new life. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Well, here I sit well into a new year. Over this period, I love to take time to reflect back, look at journals that go back many years, and appreciate the journey that has unfolded and what was the underlying motivation to take the journey I continue on.
To the headline question, the answer was a definite yes. I did want a useful life, a life with purpose that was not driven by the material. A life where I felt love for me and could reflect this in service to others, including family and friends.
While addictions had become part of my life, they were not, as I see it, the problem. Living was a problem and my addictions became an escape for me that stymied emotional growth and allowed me to escape how I felt inside. Many turn to other methods of escape that are not commonly seen as addictions, but are escapes from a life the individual feels is not "useful" as they define useful.
In dealing with my issues, and through the various influences that have helped me to recover a life I love today, I became a big fan of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" and the 12 step programme. Whether addicted or not, any human being who searches for a more useful life and wants to better apply good mental hygiene to their lives, can benefit from these tools, and I use the tools in how and what I coach. I openly acknowledge the gift freely given by those early AAs' to all of us. They are a cornerstone of my life today.
The following line from the "Big Book" of AA says it all as far as my own personal journey goes:
I have since been brought into a new way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 42-43
Over the time I have been on this journey, and to gain what I feel is a useful life, I have dramatically altered what my ideals are, and in taking the journey, have emerged with new attitudes towards life. Attitudes that help me to feel like I am living a useful life.
The principles of AA were freely given and have been adopted by 150 or more "fellowships" that are helping people create a useful life. As I listen to leading motivational experts and other "popular" authority figures -including Oprah and her spinoffs- I can close my eyes and hear the words and thoughts contained in the Big Book. The thinking is sound and works when learned and put into practice.
If you want a more useful life in 2010, this may be a start point for you.
Thought to Ponder . . .New ideals and new attitudes bring a new life. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
WANT A USEFUL LIFE?
WANT A USEFUL LIFE?
Want A Useful Life?
Well, here I sit well into a new year. Over this period, I love to take time to reflect back, look at journals that go back many years, and appreciate the journey that has unfolded and what was the underlying motivation to take the journey I continue on.
To the headline question, the answer was a definite yes. I did want a useful life, a life with purpose that was not driven by the material. A life where I felt love for me and could reflect this in service to others, including family and friends.
While addictions had become part of my life, they were not, as I see it, the problem. Living was a problem and my addictions became an escape for me that stymied emotional growth and allowed me to escape how I felt inside. Many turn to other methods of escape that are not commonly seen as addictions, but are escapes from a life the individual feels is not "useful" as they define useful.
In dealing with my issues, and through the various influences that have helped me to recover a life I love today, I became a big fan of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" and the 12 step programme. Whether addicted or not, any human being who searches for a more useful life and wants to better apply good mental hygiene to their lives, can benefit from these tools, and I use the tools in how and what I coach. I openly acknowledge the gift freely given by those early AAs' to all of us. They are a cornerstone of my life today.
The following line from the "Big Book" of AA says it all as far as my own personal journey goes:
I have since been brought into a new way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 42-43
Over the time I have been on this journey, and to gain what I feel is a useful life, I have dramatically altered what my ideals are, and in taking the journey, have emerged with new attitudes towards life. Attitudes that help me to feel like I am living a useful life.
The principles of AA were freely given and have been adopted by 150 or more "fellowships" that are helping people create a useful life. As I listen to leading motivational experts and other "popular" authority figures -including Oprah and her spinoffs- I can close my eyes and hear the words and thoughts contained in the Big Book. The thinking is sound and works when learned and put into practice.
If you want a more useful life in 2010, this may be a start point for you.
Thought to Ponder . . .New ideals and new attitudes bring a new life. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Want A Useful Life?
Well, here I sit well into a new year. Over this period, I love to take time to reflect back, look at journals that go back many years, and appreciate the journey that has unfolded and what was the underlying motivation to take the journey I continue on.
To the headline question, the answer was a definite yes. I did want a useful life, a life with purpose that was not driven by the material. A life where I felt love for me and could reflect this in service to others, including family and friends.
While addictions had become part of my life, they were not, as I see it, the problem. Living was a problem and my addictions became an escape for me that stymied emotional growth and allowed me to escape how I felt inside. Many turn to other methods of escape that are not commonly seen as addictions, but are escapes from a life the individual feels is not "useful" as they define useful.
In dealing with my issues, and through the various influences that have helped me to recover a life I love today, I became a big fan of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" and the 12 step programme. Whether addicted or not, any human being who searches for a more useful life and wants to better apply good mental hygiene to their lives, can benefit from these tools, and I use the tools in how and what I coach. I openly acknowledge the gift freely given by those early AAs' to all of us. They are a cornerstone of my life today.
The following line from the "Big Book" of AA says it all as far as my own personal journey goes:
I have since been brought into a new way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 42-43
Over the time I have been on this journey, and to gain what I feel is a useful life, I have dramatically altered what my ideals are, and in taking the journey, have emerged with new attitudes towards life. Attitudes that help me to feel like I am living a useful life.
The principles of AA were freely given and have been adopted by 150 or more "fellowships" that are helping people create a useful life. As I listen to leading motivational experts and other "popular" authority figures -including Oprah and her spinoffs- I can close my eyes and hear the words and thoughts contained in the Big Book. The thinking is sound and works when learned and put into practice.
If you want a more useful life in 2010, this may be a start point for you.
Thought to Ponder . . .New ideals and new attitudes bring a new life. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Thursday, October 15, 2009
इ ऍम इम्पोर्तंत !
I AM IMPORTANT!
I can well remember the first meeting I had with a recovery professional back in 1994.
He asked me about myself, and I quickly gave him a list of my personal, athletic, business and community volunteer leadership roles. Man, I was important!
I was quickly told that I was self centered and had an ego as big as Ontario (truly I had no self-esteem left). I had a need to be right and was very sensitive to criticism. Can you relate?
Call it self importance, call it ego, call it false pride; I have now accepted the defects I have, who I am and can handle criticism when it is merited and take responsibility for my own mistakes. (I certainly have not become a doormat).
Self importance certainly delayed my start to a life transformation and journey of life recovery.
From Hazelden:
Self importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
--Carlos Castaneda
“Were we offended by someone yesterday? Do we harbour resentment for remarks, oversights, or unpleasant mannerisms? Do we feel tense or uneasy about how someone else has treated us? We can probably make a good case to justify our reactions. Perhaps we are in the right and they are in the wrong.
Yet, even if we are justified, it doesn't matter. We may be puffing ourselves up and wasting energy. When we are oversensitive, we take a self-righteous position which leads us far from our path of spiritual awakening. Our strength is diminished.
How much better it is to let go of the lightness, let go of our grandiosity, and accept the imperfections in others. We need to accept our own imperfections too. When we do, we are better for it, and our strength and energy can be focused on richer goals.
I will accept others' imperfections; I do not need to be right. “
Appreciate that self importance is holding you back in having the life you want? If we can help you to develop an action plan with realistic goals, please contact through www.hopeserenity.ca.
I can well remember the first meeting I had with a recovery professional back in 1994.
He asked me about myself, and I quickly gave him a list of my personal, athletic, business and community volunteer leadership roles. Man, I was important!
I was quickly told that I was self centered and had an ego as big as Ontario (truly I had no self-esteem left). I had a need to be right and was very sensitive to criticism. Can you relate?
Call it self importance, call it ego, call it false pride; I have now accepted the defects I have, who I am and can handle criticism when it is merited and take responsibility for my own mistakes. (I certainly have not become a doormat).
Self importance certainly delayed my start to a life transformation and journey of life recovery.
From Hazelden:
Self importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
--Carlos Castaneda
“Were we offended by someone yesterday? Do we harbour resentment for remarks, oversights, or unpleasant mannerisms? Do we feel tense or uneasy about how someone else has treated us? We can probably make a good case to justify our reactions. Perhaps we are in the right and they are in the wrong.
Yet, even if we are justified, it doesn't matter. We may be puffing ourselves up and wasting energy. When we are oversensitive, we take a self-righteous position which leads us far from our path of spiritual awakening. Our strength is diminished.
How much better it is to let go of the lightness, let go of our grandiosity, and accept the imperfections in others. We need to accept our own imperfections too. When we do, we are better for it, and our strength and energy can be focused on richer goals.
I will accept others' imperfections; I do not need to be right. “
Appreciate that self importance is holding you back in having the life you want? If we can help you to develop an action plan with realistic goals, please contact through www.hopeserenity.ca.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
यू अरे थे ANSWER
YOU ARE THE ANSWER
As I began to recover a life that I am happy with, I made a discovery through the "coaching" of others. Within me all along, I had the answers; I did need a guide to help me find them. The answers were found through a spiritual (not religious) awakening.
Once again, I was reminded of this fact through a posting by my coaching mentor, Dr. Randin Brons in his weekly Idea Engineer.
All is mind
"I want to know the thoughts of God; the rest are details." -- Albert Einstein
Everything -- absolutely everything -- that happens in our lives has a spiritual cause. Events on all other levels -- mental, emotional and physical -- are only effects.
When we are struggling with any challenge, whether it be ill health, a lack of money, a lost job, relationships, an accident, whatever -- we need to look for the spiritual learning. We can ask ourselves, "What quality does my soul want me to live more fully?"
"If you start to think the problem is 'out there,' stop yourself. That thought is the problem." -- Stephen Covey
I know today that I was the problem, and when I established conscious contact with that small quiet voice within, I found answers. Want to kick this thought around, contact me through www.hopeserenity.ca.
As I began to recover a life that I am happy with, I made a discovery through the "coaching" of others. Within me all along, I had the answers; I did need a guide to help me find them. The answers were found through a spiritual (not religious) awakening.
Once again, I was reminded of this fact through a posting by my coaching mentor, Dr. Randin Brons in his weekly Idea Engineer.
All is mind
"I want to know the thoughts of God; the rest are details." -- Albert Einstein
Everything -- absolutely everything -- that happens in our lives has a spiritual cause. Events on all other levels -- mental, emotional and physical -- are only effects.
When we are struggling with any challenge, whether it be ill health, a lack of money, a lost job, relationships, an accident, whatever -- we need to look for the spiritual learning. We can ask ourselves, "What quality does my soul want me to live more fully?"
"If you start to think the problem is 'out there,' stop yourself. That thought is the problem." -- Stephen Covey
I know today that I was the problem, and when I established conscious contact with that small quiet voice within, I found answers. Want to kick this thought around, contact me through www.hopeserenity.ca.
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